He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
