it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize