Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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