So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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