Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
