So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
