You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
babies were throwing up all over the place
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
