Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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