Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
