I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Your cock deserves a montage
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
