he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
