i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
