i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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