I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
is this the sara with the beer cane?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
