do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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