honey bunches of taint.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
