Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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