just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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