Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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