I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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