69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
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Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
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I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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