everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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