dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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