Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize