Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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