If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Randomize