i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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