I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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