Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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