why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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