The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
