NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
