yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
