I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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