your thong is hanging out like whoa
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
