He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
