he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
His nipple licking is glorious
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