so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft