guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
