BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
