3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
