you traded sex for a burrito?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
