I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
