if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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