Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.

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  (425): i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break. http://tfl.nu/5pkx
  Replies (21) Good night (3080) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.

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  (847): I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags. http://tfl.nu/hgni
  Replies (18) Good night (6090) Bad night (817) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for

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  (405): Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for http://tfl.nu/gqdd
  Replies (15) Good night (1169) Bad night (3429) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.

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  (740): she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob. http://tfl.nu/zgkj
  Replies (33) Good night (8978) Bad night (865) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard

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  (203): whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard http://tfl.nu/amtb
  Replies (28) Good night (682) Bad night (3819) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.

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  (918): when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace. http://tfl.nu/irh2
  Replies (39) Good night (16114) Bad night (1236)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america

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  (302): Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america http://tfl.nu/uvbf
  Replies (23) Good night (1526) Bad night (4748) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS

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  (717): I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS http://tfl.nu/ohp5
  Replies (4) Good night (3371) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.

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  (404): I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit. http://tfl.nu/bfom
  Replies (5) Good night (1227) Bad night (2846) Order T-Shirt
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dave a horae rider a coqw boy

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  (414): Dave a horae rider a coqw boy http://tfl.nu/9zpn
  Replies (11) Good night (3996) Bad night (910) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.

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  (360): I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience. http://tfl.nu/k7n6
  Replies (12) Good night (4367) Bad night (758) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk

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  (561): Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk http://tfl.nu/69zw
  Replies (2) Good night (1673) Bad night (1093) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.

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  (225): Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u. http://tfl.nu/ux68
  Replies (17) Good night (1005) Bad night (2554) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?

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  (402): Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this? http://tfl.nu/pyyb
  Replies (6) Good night (1529) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!

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  (585): You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura! http://tfl.nu/nzmy
  Replies (15) Good night (2662) Bad night (507)

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