Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
