The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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