Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
