Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
