Welp...herpes.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
