I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
