just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
