id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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