I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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