I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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