Non-Jews are for practice
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
