Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
