a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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