he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
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Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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