I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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