smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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