the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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