it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
