why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
