Plan B is the new Plan A
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
