we're blogging at a bar
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
