I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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