I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
