I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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