I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
