hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
